I played the cool girl

Tegan Barbara

25 Jul 2024 — 1 min read

You called me pretty.

I played the cool girl,

a constructed portrayal of mystery & inaccessibility.

Did I make a mistake?

Isn’t that what you wanted?

A mere prop,

a decorative ornament atop your bookshelf.

Isn’t that what we both wanted?

Sometimes I remember the heavy weight of your thighs

pressed hard against my own.

It’s intoxicating.

I miss it.

It’s terrifying.

I run from it.

These days I’m softer.

I taste different,

less acidic.

Fuck being the cool girl.

-She’s burning

Conversing with men

I’m sad. “Go eat some chocolate darling” I can feel my heartbeat pumping through my chest. “Take a Xanax darling” I’m unsatisfied. “Just have another baby darling” I want to scream. “Don’t waste your energy darling” Is this a joke? “Women just aren’t funny darling” I’

I love you but I love me more

Darling, let’s call a spade a spade shall we? This little life of ours is fleeting. I adore you, that much is true. But darling, I’ve endured violent hands throttle my neck. I’m still breathing They’ve cut me with sharp edges and scraped out my insides

Have you ever?

Have you ever Crashed into someone heart first Converged ? A collision of violent ecstasy, heart pumping bones shattering teeth reduced to shards. The voices in the backseat never cease pleading: BRAKE! Only accelerating comes naturally. - She’s Burning

but mum you said you were ‘friends’

Every now and then he points out the red bull cans stacked high atop the grocery store shelf. His bright eyes stare into mine as he asks: “Is it true, does redbull really give you wings?” Perhaps he thinks once yours grow, you’ll fly straight over? We didn’t

Read more

Conversing with men

I love you but I love me more

Have you ever?

but mum you said you were ‘friends’