I love you but I love me more

Tegan Barbara

12 Nov 2024 — 1 min read

Darling,

let’s call a spade a spade shall we?

This little life of ours is fleeting.

I adore you, that much is true.

But darling,

I’ve endured violent hands throttle my neck.

I’m still breathing

They’ve cut me with sharp edges and scraped out my insides until the raw emptiness felt like home.

Blood still dances in my veins

Darling,

you know you’re cosmic. potent. chemical.

Fuck! you’re an alchemist.

I could love you infinitely

But I cannot beg you to love me.

-She’s Burning

Conversing with men

I’m sad. “Go eat some chocolate darling” I can feel my heartbeat pumping through my chest. “Take a Xanax darling” I’m unsatisfied. “Just have another baby darling” I want to scream. “Don’t waste your energy darling” Is this a joke? “Women just aren’t funny darling” I’

Have you ever?

Have you ever Crashed into someone heart first Converged ? A collision of violent ecstasy, heart pumping bones shattering teeth reduced to shards. The voices in the backseat never cease pleading: BRAKE! Only accelerating comes naturally. - She’s Burning

but mum you said you were ‘friends’

Every now and then he points out the red bull cans stacked high atop the grocery store shelf. His bright eyes stare into mine as he asks: “Is it true, does redbull really give you wings?” Perhaps he thinks once yours grow, you’ll fly straight over? We didn’t

because joy is sweeter than they ever were

So, you lick the wound this one last time. Like a discarded snack plate going to waste at that party you wish you'd left sooner. It tastes bitter. Unpalatable. It ceased nourishing you forever ago. You've been gorging on their leftovers, on your salty sadness. But

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Conversing with men

Have you ever?

but mum you said you were ‘friends’

because joy is sweeter than they ever were